Tunes Tunes and more tunes!

Love I-tunes. Love being able to just
purchase the songs I want. Love not
having all these CD's laying around.

Here's some good ones:

1. Hips Don't Lie- Shakira (wish I could move like that-you have to watch the video at least one time)
2. Be Gentle with Me - The Boy Least Likely To
3. Other Side of the World - KT Tunstall
4. Not Ready to Make Nice- Dixie Chicks (So happy they have come back to us all firey and political. Love it)
5. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking - Snow Patrol
6. Am I Just One- Carrie Ott
7. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice (Haunting)
8. Black Horse and Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall (Whoo Hoo!)
9. I'll Be Here a While - 311
10. My Oh My - David Gray

Oh my Gawd!

It has been so long since I have visited my little ol' blog. I have been completely unispired to write. Not uninspired- just nothing that I had to get out of my head.

Started working again. A little love/hate relationship with that one. Like getting out! Like getting a paycheck!! But hate carting the kids around to the sitter (which is my mom- I know very lucky- and she lives very close) But still takes more time out of the day than it should.

Love working at a children's book store. I have learned sooooo much about the business- retail and publishing. Boy is that business down to a science.

School is almost out for the summer- two more days. I can't wait to have all the kids home. Like them home with me.

I stopped doing digi layouts for a while and started the old regular way. Paper scrapping. Took me a while to get into the groove. I missed the "erase button" and the "undo" button. Boy once you cut a real piece a paper there it is. You are stuck with it. But I am getting the hang of it again. Need to do the baby's book. Will post pics soon. Don't have a scanner that does 12 x 12, so I am working on doing it with the camera.

Feeling Blue

Haven't visited my little ol
blog in a while. The computer
break was good. Too much
computer makes me
a little unsocial.

Got a job this week. Just couldn't
stand not receiving a paycheck.
So I will be working at a little
bookstore in town. It has a bit
of charm and rooms of children's
books. So I am offically no longer
a SAHM. Almost made it a year.
Not really working much though, just 11
hours a week. I was so nervous for my
interview. I haven't interviewed for a
job in over 12 years. And I was used
to being the interviewer not the
interviewee.

I didn't really think they would
take my application seriously.
Think I was overqualified.
I though I may have to defend
my claim that I am not looking
for a career, just some time for myself
and a place to see different walls and
different faces. A place where I am
known by my name and not Alex's mom, etc.

The pay isn't much. But it will help pay
for some things that I want and do
not let myself get. We also have some
student loans we would like to finally
rid ourselves of. And next year I would really
like to persue my own business. But not
until the loans are gone, gone, gone.
Not willing to take that kind of risk with
extra debt on my shoulders.

I got a job this week. Scares me a bit.
I am once again on someone else's time.
I like being on my own time. Doing my own
thing. Scares me a lot. I enjoyed not having
to arrange any childcare. My mom is watching the
girls while I work. Very short shifts. But still
she goes on vacation, she has a life. The one
good thing about daycares is that they do
not go on vacation.

Enough of this... it's just another phase
in life. My birthday is coming up. My daughter
just had her party today. Her birthday is Tues. And mine is
five days later. I see her grow up and it makes me feel older.
I am getting older. And I do not want to. Want us all to stay right
here. I like where we are at. I like that we are all healthy and young
and fun and cute and cuddly. I like that there is still a baby in the house
and that I can play princess and playstation. I love that I
get to have a tea party with 2 lumps of sugar in my tea
each day. I love that my kids are at ages where they still like
to be held and kissed and hugged. That they still believe in Santa and
the Easter bunny and the toothfairy. I want to capture these momments
but they seem to slip away so fast. The days and weeks go by so fast.
I feel like Alex just started first grade and now summer vacation is almost
here. He is reading. He reads to his sister. He reads to me. He reads
signs and the newspaper and magazine covers. When did all this happen-
where was I this past year. Where have I been. What have I been doing.

Maybe that is my solution to these feelings I have. When I was working
the projects and day to day activities were very tangible. Each year a
raise and a performance review to summarize the past years activity.
I think that I will give myself a performance review. Hmmm.

Time for bed. My brain is hurting. Too much birthday cake. And her
birthday isn't even here yet. When did birthdays become a multi- day
event. No matter how hard I try my kids birthdays just drag out. I am
always so happy when they are over. Not Tess's though. Because mine
is 5 days after hers. Her could just linger on forever. Wouldn't mind just
stalling my birthday for a while.

Imagine- Journal entry #13 & tales from the dancers darkside

A layout that is not entirely digi. I do own some
paint and gel medium! But I have to admit- holding
a baby made me switch to digi for the journaling.
But the rest is entirely paper, paint and glue.

Feeling inspired by Twistedsoda to tap into
my tactile stuff and get my hands a little dirty
this last week of the challenge.

Stood in line today for almost 2 hours to buy tickets
to my daughters dance recital. (she's 3). So rediculous.
You'd think we were buying tickets to a rock concert.
Tickets went on sale at noon. People start lining up at the
latest 11. No kidding.

My friend needs handicapped seating for her mother- and
of course the theater has limited handicapped seating- we were
there at 10:45. Got her seats. I go an aisle - since my mom is
clausterphobic in auditoriums.

Hope I don't offend anyone- but some of these moms rival the
little league dads. I was very grateful that I go out alive.

Shades of Grey #2

There is a little weekly challenge going
on at Simply Sara... Shades of Grey.
Check it out.






















I had a hard time with this layout. It was about what
thoughts I could leave my children. I honestly do
not know what I would want my children to know if
I were facing my mortality. All I know is the day to day
of the present.

We had a tough week. For some reason most of us,
even the adults, were crabby. Imagine that crabby
parents. Practicing spelling was a particularly difficult
task this week. We go through it but not without a
few life lessons. This lovely dry erase board message
is what you get when your children need to make
a point- and they know how to read and write.

Other than writing a "b" backwards- his spelling
on this was perfect!

Coffee- How about a Diet Dew

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcoffeeareyouquiz/">What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Give me back my Star

This is what happens when your children learn how to
read and write and then get angry with you.
This little message was left for me after bedtime in
response to my son losing a star from his star/chore
chart for throwing something at his sister. An accident of course.
But I am trying to teach him that he is responsible for his actions-
even if they are done accidentally.

THINK BEFORE YOU DO OR SAY...

(I know it's a big lesson that even most adults haven't learned-
But if I can teach him some humilty- I will have done some good
as far as motherhood goes.)

It's been an unusual week. All three kids have been
crab monsters!!! Seriously- Everyone has been crabby-
ALL WEEK.

So now it's the end of the week and I am (ahem) a bit
crabby. It's been hard working on my art journal for
Rhonna's 21 day challenge. But I am proud to say that
I have still been completing my new habit. I am walking
come rain or shine!!! Whether I want to or not. I have made
myself get off my lazy but and move. I even have the kids
doing it too.

New habit - family style. Surprisingly it is already paying off
Not only is it starting to feel better to my body- but I am getting
a bit more toned in just this short time. NO kidding. I fit into a
pair of jammy pants that are my regular size. Still a ways to go
before I get my pre-pregnancy jeans on. But if I keep this up
I think it will happen. Power of positive thought.

I really want to fit into my summer shorts, because I do not
want to waste money on shorts that I have no intention of wearing
any longer than necessary. Even cropped pants- I still cannot fit my
behind in them in any sort of cute way. Although, progress has been
made...
I can get them on..
I can button and zip them....

Just can't sit comfortably or wear anywhere other than the safety of
my bedroom. HA.

Songs I am listening to this week:

1. Chewing Gum (vocal mix)- Annie
(Don't know why- but loving this song)
2. Breathe - Telepopmusic -
(Makes me want to go for a car ride)
3. Only You - Joshua Radin
(Very mellow)
4. Whenever, Wherever- Shakira
(Very Sensual, makes me want to be young again)
5. Happy and Free - Vaughan Penn
(Just because I like the words)
6. These Words- Natasha Bedingfield
(Dance to this one with the kids- we jam with
our spatula microphones- great fun)
7. They-Jem
8. Vegas Baby-The Weepies
9. Counting to 100- Matt Wertz
10. Unraveling - Deb Talan (Anyone ever feel that way?)

Letting Her Go

"We find it when we settle deeply into the hidden, more loving
dimensions of any momment, allowing life to be what it wants
to be and letting ourselves be who we were created to be."

I so want to be the one I am meant to be. But I am afraid.
I am afraid that all that I have built up will come crashing
down. I am much more vulnerable than I appear. And
those that love me most- have looked to me for support.
I support thats what I do. But I have struggled in finding
those that will support me. I have a wonderful husband
who is encouraging me to follow my dreams. He's actually
excited. More excited than I am. He would like me to do it
today and I know that he will help me.

But... he's never had to pick up my pieces. In our almost 9
years of marriage- it just hasn't been necessary. But if I must
go deep to find my courage- that means I am going deep.
And there are lots of things deep within that I really do
not want to have resurface- some things that are at the core
of me. Pieces of me. Pieces of me that existed a long time ago.
A girl who existed a long time ago. I put her aside, away, battered
and bruised. Broken. Like the bird that hits the window and you find it
laying on the grass with it's wings extended in odd angles. The bird
that you put in a shoe box with some grass for comfort and place
it in a safe place so that neighborhood preditors cannot take
advantage of it's injury. Safe.....

I am not that girl... and yet I am. I will protect her always.
But to go deep and find my courage, means that at some level
inside me- I will have to face her. Face her and possibly let her
go. And I am afraid to let her go. Let her go. Can I exist without
her? Can I?























"Toward the end of his life, the literary giant George Bernard
Shaw was asked what person in history he would most
like to have been. His response was that he would most
like to have been the George Bernard Shaw he might
have been and never became."
Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change

"Marcy, you made egg soup!"
(from "It's The Easter Beagel Charlie Brown")

We colored eggs this weekend. My daughter
treats them as though they are alive and
mini-pets. I am trying to convince her that
they love to live in cool dark places i.e the
fridge. However she insists that she should
be able to take them to bed with her at
night. So I have to do a bed check at
night just to make sure she didn't sneek
any away.

Well, I survived the first week of the 21 day
challenge. This week already seems harder and
it has just begun. My body feels beat up and
bruised. Walked in the rain yesturday. Even with
my rain jacket I ended up soaked. The rain
ran down my rain jacket onto my pants.

Watched Grey's Anatomy last night. George
used to be my favorite character- but he has
been so mopey. So he did the nasty with
Merideth. Merideth broke George. That's what
happens when you sleep with someone who
is broken first. And George knew that about
her. Had he been a good friend to her
he would have approached a relationship with
her in a different way- instead he took advantage
of her and jumped in the sack right away. He is
just as responsible.

That said. I am now a Merideth fan to the end.

Here is my journal page for day 7. I am a little behind
and will post the others when I have some time.

Day 3 Journal and some babble...

I need to change my banner.

Not liking the silver tree
in the back.

I will work on that this weekend.
Can't believe tomorrow is Friday.
My friend Julie doesn't think that
Friday's should be a big deal to me
now that I am at home with the kids.
But Fridays RAWK. It means that
everyone is home on Saturday. Means
that I can stay up late with the
baby and rent a movie (we don't have
cable and Friday night TV sucks)and
get to sleep in Saturday morning. Love
that I have the option to sleep in on
Saturday mornings.

See Friday's still a big deal.

Hump day- not so much a big deal anymore.
Middle of the week- is just middle of the week.
But one of the perks of being a SAHM is that
Sundays no longer suck. I used to hate Sundays because
the next day was Monday. Back to work.
But now Mondays don't suck anymore either,
because I get to spend most of the day at home.

Not even much running around picking up kids on
Monday's.


What I am listening to this week:

Loving itunes lately.
1. Sorry (Madonna) - wish that song had come out when I was in
college. Could have learned something from those lyrics.
2. Is This Love (Bob Marley)- just makes me want to be on the beach with my feet
in the nice warm sand dancing with my hubby. Reminds me
of our honeymoon on St. Lucia.
3. You Get What You Give (New Radicals)
4. Starry Eyed Surprise (Paul Oakenfold)- reminds me of summer, roller bladding
sounds like a commercial or something
5. I Won't Be Left (Tegen & Sara)
6. The World Spins Madly On (the Weepies)
7. Gotta Have You (the Weepies)
8. Middle of Nowhere (Hot Hot Heat)- makes me wish I was a 20 something and could
still have crushes on young musicians
9. The World at Large (Modest Mouse)- because sometimes thats just how I feel
10. It's My Life (No Doubt) - Because sometimes that is just what I want to shout


Here is day 3 of my 21 day challenge.

Day 2 journal entry
was much more than
I expected.

Just happened.

Can't wait to
see what comes
next.

I've been doing my
walking- which by the
way is the new habit
I desire to create.

I've been walking
the kids to school.
Been walking the kids
home from school.

Walked the dog. Boy was
she happy. (And so was
I- I didn't have to use
the lovely plasic bags
for any doo doo duty.)
--that's why I never walk the dog!!

See there was a reason for
the photo of my tennys. I should
do a before and after photo. Bet they
don't look the same.

Maybe- just maybe I will
have to buy a NEW pair of
shoes. Oh the sacrifice.

Lovin' everyone's art work,
journaling and journeys.

It's Not Easy Being Green

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

I jumped on the bandwagon for
Rhonna's 21 day challenge.
Doin' it digi (less mess) and
I can journal and create with a
6 month old on my lap.

Decided my life was due for a
few good habits (especially if
I am to get my groove back).

So here is my first entry. Dusted off
the old Sketchers and started padding
around the neighborhood, (Pulling a
wagon no less, with 2 kiddos in it- that
should burn a few calories).

Seriously... am I the only one who is not IZZY?

Well I gave a go at the whole Grey's scrap thing.

Not my
typical scrap.

Seriously.

But had a bit of fun
doing it.

Maybe even learned
a thing or two...

Seriously.

Totally thought I would be Izzy.
But, no, I am Christina.

But after some thought, I might
have a few, not all,
of Dr. Yang's personality traits (since it is
obvious that we do not share any physical ones).

I would share what those traits might be,

however,

Christina and I are a bit reserved. We would
prefer to keep that
information to
ourselves. HA

Renee RAWKS.

RAWKS!

Look at the goodies she sent me.
Me, who wins nothing.

No that is not a pity party- just fact.

Love UPS- Love the UPS man (we have a girl on our route- but is sounds funny).

Schtuff, Schtuff and more Schtuff.

Thanks Renee!!!!!!!!!!

The GLEEP

This blogging stuff is work.

I have lots and lots of blog info
stored in my head - especially when
I am way from my computer. But
when I am here- I am lazy.

Lazy people. There I confessed.
I am lazy. Those of you who
know me- you now know
that thing about me that you
couldn't quite put your finger on.

So, alas, an entry. This is a challenge you know.
Not only am I blog challenged- I am pretty high
on anti-histamines at the momment. My children
have given me the

GLEEP. Yes, the GLEEP.

I have managed to live

GLEEP

free this winter- until now.

Athough it is officially SPRING.

SPRING!

Won't even go there. I think it is snowing as
I write this. Afraid to look.

As wonderful as the internet is - it is also
truely frustrating at times. For example, I
have a baby who has the GLEEP as well. Nothing
worst than a baby with the GLEEP. Well her GLEEP did not go
away- so she has GLEEP MEDS.

Since she is just a babe - she has never had
GLEEP MEDS before. So, being the good mother
that I try to be, I gave her her 3rd dose

(perfectly timed 12 hours from her last- got to keep the
GLEEP MEDS perfectlyin her system -
read that somewhere when my son
was just a babe)

and then gave her her bath. Upon bathing
her I noticed a wonderful- oh so wonderful
RASH- all over her back an thighs.

It looks as though someone took a red ball point pen- remember those
and made her into a dot to dot game. So I am thinking ALLERGY.


Finish bath and a little more time passes and her cheeks and chin become
flamming red- like she is blushing - but worse. And she is indicating she
may be a tad bit uncomfortable. Of course I should call the on call dr.
However, I have never had luck with the ON CALL DOCTORs- and
I have delt with many many of these people.

Do on call drs. actually
practice medicine any other way except on call?

Hope I am not offending any physicians out there ( notice the new term, I swear there is a distinction
between on call dr. and physician. Too long of a story here. Maybe I will enlighten you on a different day.

Oh yah, back to the GLEEP. Not calling the on call-just staying up all night to watch for
respiration problems. She is sleeping like a babe and the cheeks are starting to look like
their normal color. I think I am out of the woods.

Back to my origional complaint. Had the darndest time finding anything on the internet.
Even GOOGLED. Just kept finding info on how we should not be overusing antibiotics. Duh. Knew that.
Knew that, knew that, knew that. Lots on peanut and food allergies. So I gave up.

I'd be asleep right now if it weren't for this GLEEP MED stuff.
And sleeping very good- by how I am feeling on these anti-histamines.

But - got to work. This mother thing can be hard sometimes. No vacation and on call 24.7. NO wonder I
quit my day job. Sorry but no superwoman here. Just a mom.

Here comes the Sun

I can see clearly now the clouds are gone. Ok a little twist on a classic- however I think that I am going to be signing that tune all day. The sun is out - in full force- today- finally. We have had so many cloudy yucky days. Not much snow since December though. They got 2-4 inches south of us- but it completely missed us. Today we get the kids out- to ride bikes. Yes ride bikes in January - in Wisconsin. Unbelievable.

I have noticed that there is one downside of this wonderful sunshine. It illuminates all the dust in my house. Especially my computer monitor. Guess what else I will be doing today.

Our house needs a good overall cleaning. Did that just before Christmas- but it needs it again. Such a thankless job. Where does all the dirt, grime, lint and dust bunnies come from. I know that there is a small villiage of bunnies living under my family room couch. Hate to disturb them - however they will meet mr. vaccum today.

Need to scrap some more. Lately all I have been doing is looking at other girls stuff. Need to do more of my own. I have been digitally scrapping lately- love it. It is something I can do one handed with a baby on my lap. But I do miss manipulating paper and stuff. I like the tactile feel of traditional scrapping and having a 3d object in hand when done. Since I do not have a printer yet capable of 12x12 sheet printing (although this is on my wish list- as well as a Cannon 20d), I have them saved for printing at a later date. I think that later date will be soon though- I would like to look at them and file them and delete them from my hard drive.

Happy Saturday.

I recently started reading blogs because I was curious. I quickly became hooked. And that really bothered me. I wasn't sure why? I was afraid that I was becoming voyeristic. Just needing to be nosy and read about other peoples lives. Did it mean I was lonely. Or was something missing from my life.

After much soul searching and many hours thinking about the attraction of blogs, I have figured out why I enjoy being a blog worm. I identify with so many of the women that I read. Some work ( I used to do that- not so long ago ), others stay at home, some work from home, many have kids, some don't. But we are women, women who are struggling with day to day life and events. Some days better than others. We have a lot in common.

I feel this is the year for me discover my dreams and reach for them. I have something bubbling inside me - I can almost see it, taste it, feel it. However, I cannot put my finger on it. I am drawn to certain things more now than before. I feel the need to express myself in certain ways more. So- I am just going with my gut, I am branching out and I am putting myself on the line. I am pushing myself to explore paths that before I would have walked away from. We will see where it goes.

And thus this blog.

Blogging photos

Just practicitng the photo thing. Found this cool layout in picassa. Having a little fun with this.  

Hello out there

I just couldn't help it. There are so many cool blogs out there. I just had to have one. Today I have nothing special to say, except, I have a blog!!!!!!!!!