Grateful Friday

• So glad this little girl is enjoying soccer. She's pretty good too. And very proud of herself! She brought her soccer shoes and shin guards to preschool today for show and share.
• I really liked Grey's finale last night. Not a first- (but that is how I have felt with each finale). If the show was all mushy gushy predictable- who would watch it. And I can live for the next 3-4 months without it. A hiatus is in order. A "break" is good.
• Ok I have officially overdosed on cheese puffs. I had them for a snack last night- while watching Grey's and then for breakfast. I really do not recommend them for breakfast, because I am getting a bad case of gut rot. But oh they were good.
• Watched "The Queen" last night. I thought that Helen Miren's acting was wonderful. But the movie was just very dry. And I love Queen Elizabeth, if you ask me she has single handedly kept that monarchy going for over 50 years. Not an easy thing to do in our times. Yes, it's too bad she isn't more stylish- but you know she is old. She dresses just like my grandmother. And she even looks like my grandmother. It must be all the German in them.
• All my research is done for my paper. Class officially begins tomorrow. Tuition is paid. And I plan to finish writing it this weekend. That's my plan.
• And I am sticking to it.
• My kids have 2 weeks left of school. How can that be? Where did this school year go? It feels like it should be Christmas break- not summer break. Oh how am I going to keep them occupied and getting along for the next 13 weeks? Ok- must have a plan for this.
• My middle child will be a kindergartner. That is beginning to hit me- HARD. With my oldest- it was just so natural. It is in his nature to go and do and be with his friends. But with my middle one. Well we have just been through so much together. I quit my job for her. She is a BIG personallity in a little body. She is just everything. And I cannot imagine what me and the littlest one will do with out her next school year. Who will entertain us. WE will be on our own.
• Sun is out. Weather is warming up again. So tierd of having 85 degree days followed by 60 degrees. I know it is still spring. But just a little consistency would be nice. It is just ridiculous to use the furnace one day and the air conditioning the next. But that is what it has been like.
• Ordering pizza for supper tonight. That makes me very happy. Made fish last night. It was pretty good. And pretty heatlty with couscous and asperagus. But I am really not a big fan of fish. Seafood such as shrimp, lobster and scallops- yes. But fish - I tolerate. So I made up for it in cheese puffs!
• Beds are made, most of the house is vaccuumed, most of the laundry is done. That's pretty good. I need to dust. But am just so unmotivated to do anything domestic.
• Went to mass yesturday. My son was reading some of the petitions. I am very proud of him and so happy that we are able to give him these experiences. His school is wonderful, and the community of kids is exceptional. I hope that he takes these lessons with him throughout his life. They are really reamarkable experiences.
• Need to look up some new tunes to listen to. I will check out the list from Grey's last night- but need more. Hopefully some of you in blog world have some good ones going on your blog!

Embrace

I had a dream last night.

It took me a while today

to remember it.

And once I did,

I was able to literally

embrace

the beauty of it.

It was a gift.

To me.

I dreamt that I saw my

old best friend.

Ran into her while

running typical errands.

She saw me,

tried to look for a way out.

But resigned herself to my

presence.

I felt much the same way,

but then was just overcome with

grace.

I just calmly

went to her

and put my arms

around her.

I placed my cheek

against her neck

and gently held her.

And then I woke up.

As I said

A gift.

Because all of my dreams in

the past,

since our friendship so mysteriously

ended, were all about me

screaming at her

uncontrollable,

with spit flying

from my mouth,

and my body and heart

just shaking in grief and anger.

This dream was

all

peace

and

love

and

maybe,

just maybe

forgiveness?

Thank you, Lord,

I do appreciate it.

This picture SUCKS!

I have to write a paper this week. A paper on a theme relating
to the book A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry. Actually,
for those who haven't read it, it is a play/screenplay.

It's good.
Not a hard read.
But a hard read.
Only not at first.

I just do not know how to explain
what is in my heart.
My essay needs to be on
the government's policy toward
racial inequality
back then
and what it is now.
And has our government
made amends to
what happened.

I know that if I had read this book
when I was 20, it would not have
really had much of an impact on me.
You know the world was all about me.
But now I read it,
and I think,
I have a family,
I have a house,
I have to provide,
My kids need an education.
What if my family
was going through
today, what
the Younger Family
went through in the book?
Which is what many/most
African-American families
went through back then.
Only for many it was worse.

So as I began my research,
I happened upon this book.
And bought it.
And read it.
And there is just so much more
disturbing information in it.
Not just about African-Americans,
but Asian, American Indians,
even the Irish.
(Really none of this is new information to me)
It's just I am seeing it through different eyes.
I am seeing it as a parent,
who cannot imagine
explaining to my kids why
they have to use a different drinking fountain than a white person,
or why they have to use a different entrance to the theater,
or why they have to sit in a different train car, or bus,
or why they cannot play at the same park or go
to the same school.

The above picture just saddens me.
Our government saddens me.
I know that progress has been made.
After all on the democratic ticket is an
African-American candidate.
And really that is amazing.
But the history of our laws,
and our history of ignoring our laws,
and our history of re-writing our laws
just to support white supremacy.
Well it SUCKS!

And then - oh God, there is the whole
slavery thing. But fortunately that is not
part of this essay.
Or I would be writing a book instead of a paper.

History sucks. Really. Man is mean.

Wish Flower

"LOOK mom,

we have a

wish flower

in our yard!"

Tessa, age 5

Sunday Scribblings- Second Chance

There are a few things that I would do differently

if proposed with a "second chance". If it were really possible,

and the oppportunity presented itself- how could I say no.

How could I say no to righting the one wrong thing in my

life that will always be there inside me, tearing my apart

at times, and makes me questions my value.

How could I once again make that bad decision?

However, would that second chance me going back

in time and doing it all over again. Then I really would

have to say "NO". Because all that has been created would

most likely cease to exist.

We all get second chances at times. I have a second chance to

finally finish my degree. And it is a second chance I am taking

seriously. It is something that I will work on with all my might.

I've had second, maybe third, or fourth chances at happiness.

Thank goodness. I fortunately didn't need that second chance

at getting my driver's liscence when I was 16, as I passed the first time.

But it sure is nice to know that that 2nd chance card is there waiting,

just in case.

I know that I will not get a second chance at raising my kids. I know

that there are friendships and relationships that are long gone.

I think with age and maturity, one comes to realize that although having

second chances is a nice safety net for some occasions, life is just really

too short to rely on them.

Grateful Friday

Oh Friday has come and gone, but I am posting my list anyway.

• I love looking at this picure. There is a 87 year age difference between them- yet they have so much in common. Seriously. They share some of the same passions. Like... saving used wrapping paper just because it is pretty, saving cards, the color purple, the love of birds, and the list goes on and on.
• Started my assignments for my summer classes, even though they officially start next week.
• Received my order from Amazon with 2 books that will help me write all the papers that I need to write.
• The money to pay summer tuition. And the approval for subsidized student loans for next year.
• Sunny weather.
• Baseball has started for my son.
• Maybe taking the kids out for pizza tonight and meeting friends there. Maybe. Not confrimed yet.
• A semi-clean, semi-picked up house at the momment.
• Having lunch with my husband and girls yesturday. Ordering a really good sandwich.
• Making pancakes, bacon, hashbrowns and fruit for supper last night.
• Finally getting my kids to eat pure maple syrup rather that the heavily poisoned high-fructose cornsyrup brands. Now I am working on the yogurt.
• My mother's day presents. Cards, keychain, a ring. Yes I have received them all already. Kids just have to live in the here and now.
• My pre-schooler is speaking kindergarten. "Mom look I made a pattern. Blue, Purple, Blue, Purple.....
• I just feel very blessed that I have plans. That I have family to support me. That I have the resources to go forward. That although I am scared- I know in my heart I am doing the right thing and that it will all work out.

I always wish I had a sister

I am enjoying the company of these 2 little ladies.Their bond is a special one. One that I hope I can help them foster into adulthood. I always wish I had a sister- however I was blesses (ahem) with a little brother.That was definitely not in my plan, although I wished that I had a big brother (but that is a whole nother blog entry). I am glad, however, to be part of their little world together- for now.

• So much going on in my part of the world lately.
• Finally made time to get my student ID. So now it really feel official. You know that you are old when you go to the ID Center and say you need and ID and the young,fresh teenager asks you "Are you faculty or a student?".
• Faculty- I wish.
• I began melting down yesterday when I received my first assignment. The professor asked for volunteers to do early reports on the first book we are assigned to read when class begins next week. So I blindly volunteered. And then really freaked out, when I realized that this is my first college class in 16 years. And my first English paper in about 18 years. I quickly realized that the literary world may have changed since my youth. So I went on Amazon and ordered a few reference materials.Sure I had used my writing skill plenty in the workforce, but that was all technical writing, policies and procedures, training and educational materials, grants, etc. Totally different.
• Seriously.
• So today I did my research, after all it is only a one page report and if I include a picture then only 3/4 a page.
• And now I feel better.
• Because I have a plan.
• New greys tonight. Can't wait. They really do need to wrap up this season.It has been all over the place. Not complaining. But the finales really draw a conclusion. Of course I will be very very sad that I do not have any new episodes until next September. But at the same time I am glad to have a break from Thurs. nite television, especially since the show was moved to 8:00. I preferred it at 9:00 when it was a guarantee that the kids were in bed. Next year I will have to record Grey's because I have a class until 8:00 on Thurs. There was no way around it.

SPT- on the street

A bill and a deposit!

UNfortunately the deposit is smaller than the bill.

And a little help from my friend.

See More SPT here.

Meme

Are your parents married or divorced?

Married for 39 1/2 years

Do you believe in heaven?

Yes

Have you ever come close to dying?

Not that I know of. Except the time I was almost hit by lightning. It hit a wire about 5 feet above me. The hair on my arms stood up straight for about a month or so. Very freaky. Very lucky!

What jewellery do you wear 24/7?

My wedding ring. I ususally wear a ring on my right hand too- right now my moonstone ring. My necklace with Mary and my grandmother's zodiac sign- gemmini. I remember her wearing it. Also my first child would have been a gemini. I like to think that they are all up in heaven together!

Do you eat the stems of broccoli?

I think so. Never thought about it.

Do you wear makeup?

Yes- maskara

Would you ever have plastic surgery?

Probobly not. I wouldn't even have an epidural when in labor. The whole needle in the spine/skin thing. So I do not think that needles and scaples in my face would happen either.

What do you wear to bed?

Jamie bottoms and a long sleeve gap t-shirt.

Have you ever done anything illegal?

Probobly

Can you roll your tongue?

Yes

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Very married.

Do you believe in abortions?

I do not believe "IN" abortions. I believe in the right to choice.

What is your hair color?“

Dark blond. But I really want to add color to it. Like pink or blue or Yellow or orange. If only I were younger!

Future child’s name, boy and girl?

Done with the kids!

Do you smoke?

No

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?

England, Ireland, back to Germany, Italy. Europe in general!

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Not unless my kids are in bed with me.

If you won the lottery, what would you do first?

Pay off my debt, pay off my parents debts, give some to my church, put some away for my kids futures, plan a vacation, all that good ole stuff.

Gold or Silver?

Silver usually

Hamburger or hot dog?

Vienna beef dog- chicago style. .

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I could get by on bagels.

City, beach or country?

Beach

What was the last thing you touched?

Other than this computer- the microwave

When’s the last time you cried?

When my cat died.

What color are your pants?

Right now red- flannel

Ever been involved with the police?

Not that I know of. My friends a cop.

What’s your favourite shampoo/conditioner and soap?

Pantene

Do you talk in your sleep?

Nothing intelligbile or worth repeating.

Ocean or pool?

Both, either

What’s your favourite song at the moment?

Burning by Whitest Boy

*edited: Makes Me Wonder- Maroon 5

Have you ever had a cavity?

Many- and now a few crowns.

Window seat or aisle seats?

Window

Ever met anyone famous?

Yes

Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?

I am happy with my life. There are few things that I wish I had done differently-but just a few things.

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

Cut

Are you self-conscious?

Sometimes

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Yes

Last gift you received?

A orange hibiscus plant from my son.

Last thing you spent lots of money on?

Tuition

Where do you live?

Midwest-great lakes area

Last wedding attended?

Nieces wedding last summer

Favorite restaurant?

A little restaurant on the bay with a beautiful sunset and great seafood.

What is your favourite kind of car?
Volvo wagon.

What’s your least favourite chore(s)?
Windows

Favourite drink?

Diet Mountain Dew. I've been trying to quit it for over a year now. Do really good and then something just sends me over the edge. LOL

I wish I was....here,,,,

Yesturday- birthday.

A nice birthday.

A really great birthday.

A few presents.

Some ice cream.

Some cupcakes.

A gift certificate to the bookstore- from my boss!

A few cards.

Some cash.

A piano solo- written just for me.

A handmade card- with the word "Love" spelled by a preschooler.

A moonstone ring- Love moonstone. Center's me.

A hibiscus plant- orange- from my 8 year old.

He arranged to get it all by himself (with help from his grandpa)

A soccer game.

A late lunch. (without the kids)

A sunny day.

A thunderstorm.

Tickets to the Lion King.

Lots of hugs.

Lots of kisses.

Some time together.

Some time alone.

A new i-tunes playlist.

Slept in- a little.

A good nights sleep.

And today - a new year.

With my new age.

Which I will forget

and have to remember.

Not a remarkable number.

But a nice even number.

Feels right.

SPT- on the street

I know this street is named after a state or a presidents.

Just can't remember which one.

Next time I am here-

I plan to pay more attention.

Been on this street so many times-

on vacation

and on short little day trips

like this.

I have been on this street

in the rain,

in the sun,

and in the snow.

Not much special about this street.

It's old.

It's very small town.

It's dirty.

It's crowded.

It's all mismatched.

It's a resort town.

It's a blue collar town.

It's people make big ships.

It's inhabited by artists.

It's inhabited by welders.

It's inhabited by lots of people of Belgium descent.

It's beautiful.

It's ugly.

It has a wonderful dive restaurant that we love.

It has lot of shops- which we really do not love.

But we love to walk up and down

both sides of this street.

I have no idea why.