It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. I think that this is going to be our Christmas card this year (Card kit from Holly McCaig- so really she did all the work). I made a few others- because I was having so much fun with my Adobe- Photoshop Elements 5! Yes I upgraded from Paintshop Pro. (Not dissing Paintshop- it sure fillied the void) Elements is so much easier! So much!! And the best part about it is that I bought it online at this place for half price on Thanksgiving.

A big Thank You to this girl for mentioning it on her blog. Now I am not the kind of gal who will get up early, hunt for parking, stand in line, to buy anything on Black Friday. So I was doing a little surfing- hoping that there would be some deals- and there were (couldn't find any on the printer I wanted though!) The shipping cost was so worth staying in my nice warm bed until 8am and my jammies even longer.

This is another card kit I love. Might just buy it for next year's card!

Poetry Thursday- Walls

Casual Killer

Undisclosed doorway
I decend through
your depth
disengaging
from all response-
you drink down my
distress.

Provisional portal
I no longer
dispute your power,
passive to suppresion-
it plagues my
principle.


Casual keeper
I cannot consent
to contract
my character
to your control-
STOP-
I crawl from your
crime.


Walls- I found this to be an interesting prompt. Years ago I wrote this poem. Took a poetry writing class in college. (Hated it by the way) Having someone (or many people) critique your private work was so difficult. My professor had a hard time with this poem. He used words like " too philosophical" (ok- this is poetry-correct), need better verb than disengaging (wow- what verb would you use?), "I am having trouble seeing this.

And he wasn't wrong is so many aspects. He was right on the money. You can't see through it, you can't see behind it, you can't see what you want to see---- there is a wall. And it is merciless. There is no emotion, no light, no warmth. Numbness all around. Darkness all around. It sucks you down - down - down.

I think that I found truely explaining this poem to the group of people (they were not warm fuzzys) was something I could not do. So they did not get it. I don't think that many of them had hit rock bottom like I had. They couldn't feel how the allegory was like a prison- boxed- rigid.
I can feel it though. Still can - years later.

I know that it is not a great poem- but it is mine. And I prouldly share it with you now knowing that it is mine- was mine- was my space- was my wall. WAS- pieces still hang there inside me (and I know that I could easily pull them back into place to protect once again what little that I had that was mine), but the wall has come down. The wall, that portal no longer holds me in. I let the ghosts fly free within me. At this point in my life- without them I would no longer be whole.

A rainy and yucky Monday here. As the day wore on - my mood began to match the atmosphere. I am on a plan to detox my body of all the schtuff I put in it.

Not sure why I decided to start this week. Read an article in Better Homes and Gardens this week about diabeties. (November is National Diabeties Month). Learned something new, caffine increases blood sugar. Asked a few people in the health field- they didn't know that either. Except- in coffee. It seems that moderate amounts of coffee either decaff or reg. actually lowers blood sugar. Good news. Except that I do not drink coffee. Sure I enjoy a Mocha here and there, but my vice is diet mountain dew. Well. I am well on my way of purging my system of it. Starting with the caffine free stuff to decrease my caffine intake. Doing good on this- except that it depresses me. Depression is creeping in. This happened last year when I tried to cut out caffine. I just couldn't handle the emotions that went with it.

Not going to turn back this time! I will do it.

Cluck Cluck

Despite my frustrations
with the selection
of political candidates-

I did vote.

Felt very proud that I did.

And if any polititians
out there
are reading this blog-
the deal breaker for me was-
who ran the cleanest campaign.
Yes that does matter.
So that is who I voted for in the end.

And hey my guy won!!!!

And congratulations to Chris Edwards and his familiy. Hopefully he can do big things in that part of the world!

Lets talk politics?!

Ok , lets get this straight. I am an American. I take pride in being an American. I believe in the Constitution and all the hard work it took to bring Democracy to this country. I support our troops.

With that said....
I have been so discouraged and embarassed by our upcoming election campaigns. Yes Our polititians should be E-M-B-A-R-A-S-S-E-D!

Who is the role model for Democracy- USA. We pride ourselves on it. We try to spread it like a missionary would. (Just lately with a lot more force).

So I think our polititians and canidates have a responsibility not only to the voting Americans but to the world to run clean campaigns. How can I vote for either candidate when I already know that they lie. They lie to their voters. Their campaigns are riddled with half truths and lies. They will beg steal and borrow to get elected. And yet I also read that it is my duty to vote. Well then give me someone to vote for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not feel that our country is a democracy anymore. It is really a dictatorship between 2 partys. And they just humor us into thinking we have a choice. OK, I have a choice. Who is the lesser of 2 evils? Love that choice. Love this democracy we live in.

Sorry for the rant. Just had to get it off my chest.

Poetry Thursday- Favorite Lines

I have been wanting to participate in Poetry Thursday for so long. But I have been very lazy about it and very scared. Scared to look that deep inside myself again.

I used to be a poet- long ago. I was young, naive and romantic. But as most people exerience at one point or another- I had some life altering experiences. And in my need for self preservation- I closed a few doors inside myself.

But I am needing to re-enter again. And allow the sunlight to reach those dark places. I no longer need to spend time with that girl. She and I can to terms with each other a long time ago. Over the years she finally let me grow up and I finally let her be apart of me again. I love her- and all that she was- but that took a lot of years and self acceptance to reach that place. We are one and we are at peace.

So it's time for a little poetry. Some of hers, some of mine, but all of ours.

It is very difficult to pick just one or two favorite lines of poetry. There are so many swimming in my head. So many memories, sights, sounds, smells, colors and flavors attached to them.

Shakespears Sonnet # 58
"I am to wait, though waiting so be hell,
Not blame your pleasure, be it ill or well."

Dorothy Parker- Men
"They hail you as their morning star
Because you are the way you are.
If you return the sentiment,
They'll try to make you different,"

e.e. cummings
"may i feel said he
(i'll squeel said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she"