My spaces and the stories they tell

Ahh my piano- this was my engagement ring.
My husband just took me to a little music store in a town about an hour away- asked me which one I liked. Of course I was a little crabby since I did not understand why he was showing me pianos when I did not have the money to buy one. So I picked this one and then he got down on his knees and the rest is history. Our History.

Grandfather clock from Germany. My parents brought sent this to my grandparents when my dad was stationed there in the service. Now that my grandparents are gone- it's found a place in my home.

A picture of my grandmother when she was 2 years old. This was her little table and chairs. She's now 91 years old and still drives.















This is the top of my china cabinet that my great Aunt gave me this summer. Apparently it has been in the family for a few generations. Sea Shells and pastel drawing.















Inside my china cabinet- tea cups and a cake stand- just waiting for a party.















A ceramic clock my grandmother made. Tons of gold paint. Could not afford to paint it like that today!

Inside another cabinet. Mother of pearl opera glasses. Once belonged to my great grandma. She received these when she was 16. My old books of Emerson and Washington Irving. Found at a little used bookstore.

Shelf in my living room. Old camera, typerwriter print and my grandfather's Mary and Jesus statue.

A painting I like.



















Vintage Buttons. My grandmother and great-grandmother never threw anything away. I have inherited tons and tons of vintage items.


Not sure what to call this- it was labeled "tray" when I found it in a little vintage shop. It just said "buy me" so I did and now it houses random bits of photos.

Signed print by a favorite local artist. Love the red/orange poppies.

This was my grandmothers first lamp- when she was married. It has lasted all these years. When I moved into my first apartment- she gave me this lamp along with a set of pink and white china dishes (to match my pink kitchen). This lamp has been sitting faithfully by my bedside ever since.



















A little bowl of sea shells collected in Florida a few years ago. Just makes me happy to look at them.
This is a window from the basement of the first house we owned. Painted our monagram on it and now it sits on our fireplace mantel.

This was my grandfathers old typerwriter. As a kid I used to sit in his office and pound away. Now it sits above my tv holding up some of my favorite books including my collection of Elizabeth Goudge books and an origional print copy of Love Story and To Kill a Mockingbird that used to belong to my grandmother.

An old window- above my bed. Working on finding other stuff to hang by it. Looking for an old headboard too.
My grandmother made this when she was a young girl. She entered it in a contest. I just love the colors.
















Northern Girl prints. Have lots of these since my grandfather worked for them.

meme

Two names you go by:
Sam
Dribbles

Two parts of your heritage:
German
Irish

Two things that scare you:
Snakes
George Bush's politics (I like his wife though-)

Two everyday essentials:
mascara
caffine

Two things you are wearing right now:
flannel jammies
long johns - very cold here right now

Two of your favourite current bands/artists:
Kate Havnevik
Gwen Stefani

Two things you want in a relationship (other than love):
friendship
laughter
sex?!*$

Two truths:
I was born in Germany-
I once modeled for a life drawing class during a semester in college

Two favorite hobbies:
photography
reading

Two things you have to do this week:
call for thrift shop pick up
piano lessons with my son

Two stores you shop at:
I hate to shop
Target
Garnet Hill


Two shows you like to watch:
Grey's anatomy
PBS stuff

Two things you'd buy if money were no object:
Right now I need a new washing machine- mine sounds like a jet taking off.
A matching dryer- all front load please, with pedastals

Two wishes for 2007:
world peace
clean political campaigns

Grateful Friday

Oh isn't Friday perfectly lovely- I've been waiting for it all week!
This is a picture of Buzz Buzz III (Buzz Lightyear). He's our 3rd Buzz Buzz. Found these pictures laying around my hard drive and decided to put them on a page. Not very inspiring, scrapping a hamster. But my son was happy to see this. He's very sentimental. Oh, the day we had to bury the first Buzz Buzz was so sad. My heart broke for him. He was 4 and he was so brave. Had to look at buzz one last time (darn hamster died in may hand you know). My dad buried him in the back yard next to Gilda (the wonderdog) under the lilies. I am sure Gilda welcomes the company. No 2 buried there as well.

He is getting used to owning small pets. Already talks about the next buzz buzz. He would really prefer a gecko next time. And as much as I like amphibians, I just really prefer warm blooded animals with fur. Maybe tomorrow I will show you a picture of George- our frog.

1. Thankful for the letter I received in the mail yesturday- a love letter....from my husband.
2. Chocolate and hazelnut creamer. They are my comfort food right now.
3. Some wonderfully nice e-mails I received this week.
4. Thankful that my mom bought my girl some new jeans this week. 5 pair. It was so nice as she was outgrowing her old ones and a few are very close to having holes in the knees. Five is a bit excessive- but they were majorly on sale and now I do not have to stress over having the laundry done just so my girl has pants to wear to preschool. Thanks mom!
5. Getting through all my meetings this week.
6. Grateful that tomorrow is Saturday! I can take a Tylenol PM tonight and sleep soundly until whatever time I decide to roll out of bed. No school, no work, hubby home. He's an early riser so he doesn't mind that I like to sleep in on the weekends. (Is 8:00 considered sleeping in?) At least I don't think he minds- he hasn't complained the past 9 years.
7. Grateful that I have enough money to pay all my bills this month. Had some big ones. God is Great!!!
8. So loved Grey's. So glad that they ran a new one. So glad that on the blog that they said they were not running re-runs for a while. So glad to look up the songs on I-tunes. I need some new ones. Anyone have suggestions for some new songs. What are you listening to right now?
9. Grateful that the weather has been warmer than normal. But a little sad that that is coming to an end this weekend. I suppose it is mid-January.
10. Glad my PMS is gone.
11. So happy to be reading a book I really enjoy. Not a masterpiece. First time writer. Learned lots of stuff that you should not do when writing a novel. However, I am enjoying her work. It's regional fiction whick makes it kinda fun to read.
12. McDonalds- so happy not to have to cook. And why do there fries have to taste so good when they are sooooooo bad for you?
13. Pink cashmere
14. Orange wool slippers
15. Flannel jammy bottoms

Poetry Thursday- cliches

You know the old saying about stones and glass houses.

Well this is my favorite take on it.

The Woman in the Glass House Speaks

by Martha Mihalyi

I know everything around me

can shatter in a high wind,

at the kiss of stone or

the highest note. What is

important here is to walk

gracefully, the imagined book

balanced on the head and

no hand, no heart, no thought

to swerve for. What is important

is to see through each wall

another wall after and then another

until I am outside myself like a bird

resting on a high glass sill-

who must know it is only air beneath:

the blur of blue and green

to fly or fall through,

weightless and singing.

Boppy?!*

This how our boppy pillow is used now days.

It is Lucy's favorite place to nap.

• She still thinks she is the baby of the family.
• She's 10.
• She snores - mentioned in previous post.
• She's part Border Collie- so she is always trying to heard us together.
• She's part Beagle- so she barks.
• She's the best guard dog- won't let strangers near us.
• Won't let the neighbors near us.
• Won't let some family members near us.
• She is just like Nana in Peter Pan. Trying to take care of the kids.
• She thinks she is my husbands wife.
• She placed her self in the ranks above me until I had children. Now she thinks I am important too.
• She comes to find me as the kids wake up in the morning. ONe by one.
• She will not "officially" come downstairs until everyone has gotten up in the morning. (I say official because she goes back upstairs to wait only after eating her breakfast and going outside.
• She is in terrible need of a haircut and shampoo- she hates this.
• She loves snow.

My Dog snores... and other random bits

1. Ali challeged everyone to choose a word to define

their goals/expectations/etc. for 2007.

And here is mine.

Forward.

Forward motion the whole way...

in every way.

Nothing but forward.

No looking back, no backtracking,

no backward thinking.

Every problem has a solution!

So I bought a day planner from See Jane Work.

Love it-

embellished it a bit and added tabs for the months.

Now I will remember my motto the entire year!

2. My dog snores,

my husband snores,

my 8 year old snores

and sometimes my baby snores.

But my dog is by far the worst.

And she insists on sleeping in my room

by my side of the bed.

It wouldn't be so bad, except lately

she is so loud - she wakes me up.

It sounds as if a 250 pound linebacker is sleeping on my floor.

Seriosly!

3. I spend too much time blogging and I really don't care.

4. I start school in a couple of weeks and I am scared silly.

5. I meet with my advisor on Friday.

He is younger than me and he is a professor.

Somehow that seems wierd.

Like having a dr. who is younger than you.

6. I can't wait for the last Harry Potter book to come out.

And since I work for a Children's book store - I will be partying

that night as we stay open late for the release. Can't wait.

Already planning my costume.

7. Going to Florida in March - must loose the last 10 pounds of

baby weight- MUST.

8. PMS- sucks!

9. I find that during my daily prayer time- I remember to say prayers for so

many people out there in blogland that I do not even know.

10.I hate paying property taxes.

11. My house is a mess- it seems like it is always a mess. I cannot find a

place for all the new Christmas toys. I dread going in the basement. The playroom

is totally trashed. And the cat threw up.

I need to bissel it ASAP.

But I am simply dreading it.

12. Cleaned the hamster cage

and the cat's liter box.

I am done for the day.

Everything else will have to wait

until tomorrow.

13. Thirteen is my lucky number. And orange is my favorite color.

14. My cat is 17 years old and is dying.

He just doesn't want to eat and when he does

he throws most of it up.

This is hard for me.

I have had that cat since college.

Named himafter my favorite author.

I've had him longer than I have had my husband or my kids.

15. Been listening to a little Kate Bush.

Wow does thattransport me back in time.

Maybe I should put in a little pyschadelic furs in too.

I'm feeling some Berlin too.

(I just need a blue rat tail and some red chuckies)!

Sunday Scribbling- Kissing

Giving up my past, Vol. I, Chapter 2

Kissing you Good-bye

You have long since moved from my heart.

(My heart barely remembers you..)

However, you are still at times

painfully in my head. Oh, don't flatter

yourself, it is not actually you in my head,

you physcially, again, my head barely remembers

what you looked like.

But memories of you and things you did and said to me.

Cruel things.

Very Cruel things.

I have not completely let them go.

I am still surprised

that they actually happened - to me.

When I remember them,

it is as though I am watching

a television program.

Watching from the outside,

someoneelse's experiences.

Watching.

I would like to tell her all that I know now.

(That you really never loved her)

I would like to tell her how to let you go.

(That even though I loved you- this is not how love should be).

I would like to help her move on.

(That she will find someone better.)

I would like to tell her she is worthy and special and loved

and yes- does deserve better.

(That you tell her all those bad things about her, so that you feel better

about yourself)

I would like to tell her that it is not she who needs to change, she is wonderful

just the way she is.

(That it is YOU who needs to change and grow).

I know that it would not matter if I told her these things.

She would not listen anyway.

She needed to find out for herself.

I am kissing you good-bye today- for good.

That part of you that remains in my head.

That on my bad days

(and even on some of my good,

when I do not feel worthy of my abundance)

your voice hammers in my head

telling me that I am nothing,

that I suck,

that I am not loved,

that I need to change,

that I am not pretty

or sexy

or smart.

On those

days that you tell me that I am not worthy

of anyone's love,

(in the past you added especially yours)

- that I do not deserve

all that I do have

and that I will never

amount to anything.

There were times that I lived up

to those expectations. And fortunately

there are many more

that I knew better.

I am kissing you good-bye today.

That part of you that was physically cruel to me.

The part that I still try to deny in my head.

Those subtle touches

that left bruises on the outside

and scars on the inside.

(You didn't think I would notice that it was purposeful.)

And those times when you wanted me

to know that you purposely

left a trace.

Those times when you needed

to show me your superiority,

your dominance,

your power,

your will.

It was so long ago.

My life is so full of love,

and purpose,

and peace,

and grace.

My life is shared with an amazingly loving husband,

who tells me I am smart,

who tells me he desires me,

who tells me he would die for me,

who has encouraged me to follow my heart and my dreams.

My life is filled with

children's laughter,

tears,

words,

stories,

music,

dance,

kisses

and hugs.

My house is warm and filled with pieces of me.

So today I am kissing the last piece of you good-bye.

The memory of me when I was with you.

I am whole,

I am good,

I am deserving,

I am smart,

I am creative,

I am pretty,

I am sexy,

I am beautiful,

I am funny,

I am forgiven,

I am special,

I have God's grace,

I am and forever will be me...

Forward

Special Helper Friday

Today I was special helper at preschool-

or more correctly-

I was the special helper's assistant

The best part of being special helper

is that we always bake a treat!

It's our little thing.

and notice the other thing in the

picture- (not the muffins)

that was my Christmas present

from my parents.

Always wanted one-

just not that badly.

I really didn't need to use

the mixer to make muffins-

but since it was there,

We made them

Martha style!

So my house smells

of baking

bannana muffins

and warm coffee.

Now if we only had some snow.

Packed Away...

So the Christmas decorations

are all packed away.

Feels good.

Each year I tell myself

that we really

should celebrate

the 12 days of Christmas

and keep

everything up until January 6th.

But I just can't do it.

Celebrating advent takes

everything out of me.

Maybe when the kids are older

I'll switch things up

a bit.

Hey Cathy Z is back.................

I have missed her wit.

Happy New Year Cathy!!!!!

It was hard getting back

in the swing of things this week.

Hard going to work.

Hard getting the kids off to school.

Hard getting everybody to bed on time.

Hard making sure school uniforms were washed

....and dried.

Just plain hard getting back to living on a schedule.

....a school schedule at that.

Alex has declared he hates school

(really don't believe him

its just his attempt at drama-

after all he does have 2 younger

sisters.)

So I told him he would not have to go-

that I could home school him.

Of course he had no idea what that was- so

I explained it to him.

And not another comment came out of his

mouth.

End of subject I guess.

Can't imagine what I would have done

if he would have wanted

that option. I just not sure

I can handle being solely responsible

for my kids education on top of everything else.

I know that

HOme schooling mom's rock.

I just know that

I am probobly not

one of them.

Getting anxious about starting

back at school.

Especially since

I am not

signed up for classes- YET.

They do not have my

transcripts verified. So I

do not know

what I need to take.

And I refuse to give

them my money

on a class that I do not

need. So they better hurry up

because the semester starts soon!!!!!!!!!!

NOw I know why I

always hated the

politics of higher education.

They are just like any other

business!

Sunday Scribblings- Destination

Giving up my past, vol I, chapter 1

When I was younger I was convinced that I was destined

to do great things. Small but great. I had big dreams of

joining the Peace Corp. and traveling to Africa to do good

things. I even completed the application.

Funny thing- since I began this post, having saved it as a

draft, I went over to my parent's house for a New Year's

meal (shrimp creole-yum). My dad was in cleaning mode-

really mom was and was making him clean out his office.

I had an old file cabinet in there chucked full and he

convinced me it was time to go through it. And lo and behold

what did I find but all my old college stuff and my application

packet to the Peace Corp. It just seemed to funny at the time.

And a sign that it is just time to let it all go. Let the past slip

away.

I bought a new set of cards by Dr. Wayne Dyer, 10 Secrets for Success

and Inner Peace. I have been using this set. And it was time for

something new. I pick a new card, randomly, about once a week

or whenever the mood strikes me. I hang them on my dry erase

board on my refridgerator. Right next to the hot lunch schedule

for my kid's school. Can't miss it. Some stay there a little while

and others need more time to sink in. They are wonderful little

words, phrases, and choices to help implement change, understanding

and peace.

So this is the first card that I picked from the deck.

"Give up your personal history...

Know that your past is over!

By referring to previous struggles and using them

as reasons for not getting on with your life today.

You're assigning responsibility to the past for

why you can't be successful or happy in the

present."-

Wow, that hit home a little bit and was very timely.

I definately have not let the past interfere with moving

forward with my life. I have overcome so much and

have a beautiful life and a beautiful family.

But I do use the word overcome and obstacles and whatnot.

It's time to let that go. I am done overcoming my past.

It is the past and the present and future have so much

in store for me.

So back to my dad's winter cleaning. See how this is coming

full circle. Anyway all my old college notes, binders, some

textbooks, poetry, newpaperclipings, letters, etc. were tucked away

in there. And I purged. I got rid of it all, except a very small pile of

old stories and poems that I wrote (not very good stuff mind you). But I want

to sit down alone someday with a cup of coffee (or perhaps a glass of wine) as read

those words that at one time came from my mind and another time. And then

let them slip away as well. I also kept a lovely old picture of Katherine Hepburn when

she was so young and stylish. I will put that somewhere.

So I purged some hard work of the past, and some not so hard work. My dad

being the pack rat that he is made sure that I gave him the emply binders and

binder clips. It felt great to put it all at the curb.

A fresh start. A fresh destination. Another circle that is forming.

A beginning to an end.

And finally an end to a beginning!