Poetry Thursday- Walls

Casual Killer

Undisclosed doorway
I decend through
your depth
disengaging
from all response-
you drink down my
distress.

Provisional portal
I no longer
dispute your power,
passive to suppresion-
it plagues my
principle.


Casual keeper
I cannot consent
to contract
my character
to your control-
STOP-
I crawl from your
crime.


Walls- I found this to be an interesting prompt. Years ago I wrote this poem. Took a poetry writing class in college. (Hated it by the way) Having someone (or many people) critique your private work was so difficult. My professor had a hard time with this poem. He used words like " too philosophical" (ok- this is poetry-correct), need better verb than disengaging (wow- what verb would you use?), "I am having trouble seeing this.

And he wasn't wrong is so many aspects. He was right on the money. You can't see through it, you can't see behind it, you can't see what you want to see---- there is a wall. And it is merciless. There is no emotion, no light, no warmth. Numbness all around. Darkness all around. It sucks you down - down - down.

I think that I found truely explaining this poem to the group of people (they were not warm fuzzys) was something I could not do. So they did not get it. I don't think that many of them had hit rock bottom like I had. They couldn't feel how the allegory was like a prison- boxed- rigid.
I can feel it though. Still can - years later.

I know that it is not a great poem- but it is mine. And I prouldly share it with you now knowing that it is mine- was mine- was my space- was my wall. WAS- pieces still hang there inside me (and I know that I could easily pull them back into place to protect once again what little that I had that was mine), but the wall has come down. The wall, that portal no longer holds me in. I let the ghosts fly free within me. At this point in my life- without them I would no longer be whole.