Mid Winter Blue

I cannot tell you

how many times

in the past week

I have

seen this face.

This face

set just like this.

This face

showing it's dislike to me.

This face-

that was captured

looking pretty

cute in mid-motion-

piggy tails and all.

Oh it has been a rough week

with this little one.

This spirited one.

This big person

in a little body.

I feel like I'm losing grip.

I feel like I did when the New Year

came around.

I feel a weight pulling me down.

I just don't know how to

stop it.

I know it's coming.

Is it the weather?

Is it ______________?

Is it just the season?

Is it my fear of failure

creaping back to me?

Is it my constant questioning of

the decisions I've made?

Is it my lack of meaningful work?

Is it the fact that my kids seem

to be growing up too fast?

Growing up and away from me?

This week went by

way to fast.

I was way to sick

and at times worked to hard

and at times did not work hard

enough.

I had plans

for this weekend.

None of them

happened.

I had wonderful valentine fun

I wanted to do with the kids.

Free from any time constraints.

But I ended up working.

Mindless, low paying, boring work.

I had to fill in for someone who

was seriously injured.

Glad I could do it for her.

She would do it for me.

But I had plans....

And to top it off, we

had a birthday party coming in.

I had to plan a party for 15 Kindergarteners.

Not hard. But a bit draining.

And I was already drained.

Hoping for a better week.