Its in the genes

I have enjoyed watching the new show October Road.
It's a bit predictable.
I like that sometimes.
One character has been considered a bit of a farce,
you know the SHUT-IN guy.
I mean who really would stay in there house
since 9/11? Never venturing out.
Relying on friends.

The thing is...
I get him.
Totally.
I could be him.
Really.
I would love to keep myself and my children
in our warm loving home 24/7.
I would love to keep them safe
from terrorism and school shootings.
I would like to limit the possibilities of
car accidents and child abductors.

I could completly hole up here.
Homeschool them until they are 30.
Ok maybe 40.

It actually runs in the family.
Its in the blood.
I have an Uncle and a great Uncle
who pretty much have done that to themselves.
As they got older, they just could not
bring themselves to leave their home.
These are not stupid men,
my uncle is a lawyer and a judge.
My great uncle is a journalist.
I am not sure what happened
(or didn't happen in their lives)
that led to this.

I know that what I feel inside is both
normal and irrational.
The VT shootings have surfaced some
of these again.
Next semester I will have 2 courses on
campus. And right now that scares me.
I know the odds. They are definately in my
favor. I also know that once this is out of the
media I will feel better.

Now that I have shared that
very freaky, dark twisty side of me,
let me assure you that I do not think
that I would actually shut myself in.
I know that the love I have for my
children is too great to deprive them from
all this world has to offer.
I know that it would be a greater tragedy
to create a false world for us and that my
children would probobly resent me if I did.

It's just sometimes the evil in this world
is too big for my brain to wrap around.
I cling to my faith.